This week I painted my kitchen door blue. Then I ghetto frosted the glass with contact paper. It was a seemingly harmless project but it took me a loooooooong time to get around to doing it. And now that it's done I am letting out a deep breath of relief, one that I didn't even know I had been holding for the last few months. I know what you're thinking. What's the big deal? It is just a door. It is just a kitchen. But it is so much more.
This door is freedom. It is joy in the midst of chaos. It is my pile of rocks.
A few nights ago as I stood at the stove whipping up an impromptu request for enchilada casserole, I was overcome with that I've-been-here-before sensation. Just 7 months before, I stood in that very spot, making the same dish. But I did it in a filthy kitchen that I couldn't change until I owned it a month later. I did it on the verge of tears as the electricity flickered and the roaches laughed at me. I did it with a deep heart cry and I found myself cursing the very house that had come to us as a massive blessing. I remember clear as day feeling like my world had turned upside down and swallowed me in the process. And I remember Jesus. His huge arm reaching down and yanking me out of the pit before I could even attempt to start the climb.
I love the New Testament for its freshness, for its grace, for the Gospel. But I love the Old Testament because it is full of rememberance. God's people were always building altars, sometimes as memorials for where He had met them, sometimes as a reminder of what He had promised, sometimes as a marker for where they'd been or where they were going, but always to remember.
It is so easy to get wrapped up in the quickness, the non stop crazy of this life. When we do, we forget that our weeping lasts just for a night, that the promise fulfilled is just around the corner.
Its time to start piling rocks. Its time to stop forgetting. Every time I catch a glimpse of that blue door my heart skips a little. I know where I've been. And I know where I'm going.
Next week will be a week of reveals. Our house isn't finished by any standard, but it sure is feeling like home. Stay tuned....