Monday, August 20, 2012

just Us. Me and Jesus.

I have been so swallowed up lately. And I'll be honest, I have neglected this blog so much. Between birthday parties and cakes and weddings and school prep, I've just put this on the back burner. My heart is full of good things, and hard things too, that I've been anxious to share. But in truth, the longer I waited to post, the easier it was to put it off. And before I knew it I was staring at a massive snowball of blank "pages." A month's worth to be exact :/ My heart is heavy today, and has been for the last week. And so I've been reluctant to dive in with a Debbie-Downer attitude. I'm not depressed or anything like that. I'm just saddened, grieved in the deepest parts of my heart for the things that I'm anxious to see happen in our midst. I am still struggling to find the balance between staying content in a different environment without adopting the culture and forgetting where I came from. I'm not talking about Texas life. In talking about Kingdom life. There is so much to be learned in a community of people that walk in worshipful discipleship. There's also much to be learned alone- in the quiet of God's presence. That *has* to be enough for me.

My kids bring a lot of joy. And simplicity to my life. My Matthew is a constant reminder of what childhood should be- imagination, and wonder, and fun. At 7 years old, he cries if the day doesn't include enough "playing." Last week I took him to get a new pair of shoes, and he picked out the yellow ones. I knew my husband would cringe when he saw them, but I had to let him be his own person. He isn't his brother, he's different, and it's awesome. He was so proud of those shoes and begged me to photograph them. His grin says it all.

Sometimes, in my grown up over-analytical outlook, there's a part of me that's screaming for simpler times. Like when new kicks was all it took to make the world right again...

No comments:

Post a Comment