I have been having a week full of preparation fails. Do you know what I'm talking about? I'm trying to do the right thing, be wise and all that jazz. I'm trying to anticipate what's coming and intercept it with my awesome skills. But I'm coming face to face with a harsh truth. As the number of children under my care increases, so does my capacity to love them (and everyone said Awwwwww.) What's unfortunate is that my ability to do anything else seems to be exponentially decreasing. Can I get an amen? I'm finding that making "mental notes" is for the birds. I've changed too many diapers and slept too few hours to actually keep track of things on brain power alone. I am that girl, the one that walks away and straight forgets what I just mentally promised myself not to. Blah.
Monday: I took photos of some friends, and I was prepared. Well, I thought I was. I came with all sorts of coordinating props, totally had a PLAN. And then, after our long ascent to the top of the hay field, I realized I'd completely forgotten my book of ideas and had to try and remember them. Boo :/ Two hundred plus pictures later, we were all smiles, until I got home and realized that I hadn't checked my settings and shot all of them in JPEG. Boo. Again.
Tuesday: I spent the entire day playing with photos and mapping out blog posts while the laundry and dishes reached towering heights. Fail.
Wednesday: I kicked it in gear. I woke up, spent time with Jesus, and whipped this house back into shape. I'm talking clean bathrooms, clean laundry, folded laundry, and zero dishes. WIN.
Thursday: I played all morning with a blog post that I never finished, and then got too busy to post. I went and picked up my model and headed to the farm for more pics. I neglected to get all of the directions I needed, so I spent 10 minutes parked on a country road, then drove up a private drive and parked in front of a house for another 20 minutes that was not the right one. Fail. Jump past a successful afternoon and sweet dinner with my family. While making said dinner, something caused a chicken juice overflow in the oven and I made one of my infamous "mental notes" to clean it after the oven cooled down.
Friday/ Today: I spruced up the house with a little pick up action before I started on my little guy's fancy birthday cake. Guess what I found? Oh yeah, that scorched chicken juice that I whole-heartedly meant to clean up last night. Fail. Now, I'm sitting, waiting on my hubs to get home so I can go to the store to pick up the items that I need for this cake, the items that I forgot to put on the list. What's wrong with my brain?!
What I neglected to offer in this timeline is the fact that somewhere in there I committed my Saturday to take pictures of a wedding and then rush off to a barbecue, all on the day before my sweet boy turns two. I forgot to plan him any sort of party, not that he'll really care. But I care. Now I'm rushing around to squeeze in birthday cake construction among all of our other weekend activities, so that we can at least do cake and ice cream for him Sunday. Preparation Fail.
Do you ever find yourself in these sorts of self-inflicted predicaments? It's ok. You're in good company. Today, in the midst of my retelling and reliving of all the goofy mistakes I made this week, I keep returning to this. Proverbs 16:9 (this version from the Message) We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. Isn't that the truth?? Aside from healthier eating habits, more water, and more brain food, I NEED JESUS. With all my planning and good intentions and the subsequent flubbing up, I have to remember that I am just in need of grace and guidance. I can make all the plans in the world, but if I'm counting on myself to make it happen, it won't. I'll forget. I'll come up short every.single.time. All the brain food in the world can't change that. I need God's hand to be all over everything that I do.
I hope this finds you making plans and looking to Jesus :)
Great post. I feel this way every day. :] I desperately need the grace of God and need to allow it to be sufficient for me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!!
This reminds me of something I heard on the radio the other day. This mom was talking about how she had many fails that day, for example, while making her children's lunches, she realized the peanut butter was spoiled and had to send them with jelly sandwiches to school, and pretty much everything that could go wrong did.
ReplyDeleteShe went on to say that God reminded her that those conflicts aren't necessarily conflicts, that she was simply managing the many blessings God had given her. Making lunches was managing the blessing of having 3 beautiful children in the first place.
Anyway, your post reminded me of that and also to make sure that I am covering everything we do in prayer. I had a pretty sad/blah type of day today. Now I know what was missing! Hearts and hugs Bekah dear :)